CHANNEL 5 - QUAHOG NEWS [TIME: 8:00 PM] The TV flickers to life. Tom Tucker is arranging his papers. Diane Simmons is checking her makeup. TOM TUCKER "Good evening, Quahog. Our top story tonight: A mysterious stranger has entered town. Witnesses describe them as 'pixelated' and 'looking for answers'." DIANE SIMMONS "We go now live to Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa, who is standing by with a personality test." (Static... Channel changes)